The Kitchen Rules

This picture of my kids licking the bowl clean is yet another fine example of why I always say:

"A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life."

Anyone who believes otherwise can excuse themselves from this posting immediately. I mean it, there is no room for any perfect people here.

Okay, now that we've filtered out all the 'Med-E-Gans' let's chat, paisan to paisan......

Life is far too short, and too busy, to clean the kitchen. Now, let's be very clear - does this mean that you use this as an excuse not to clean the kitchen?

YES.

This is something, however that must be made clear very early on in any relationship. Whether its your spouse or your child, I would suggest clarifying the following rules associated with being a "mamma italiana." This way there is no confusion whatsoever. these rules will serve as a guideline for the expectations that Italian husbands & children are prone to misunderstand.....Bless their little hearts....

Here we go:

1.) Whatever has been cooked for dinner is what's for dinner. This is NOT a restaurant - there is NOT a menu

2.) And in lieu of the restaurant topic - I am not a waitress nor a busperson.

3.) If you don't want to eat what has been cooked, fine. Don't eat it. But don't expect to eat anything else until the next day.......(life is not fair, people.)

4.) No one leaves the kitchen without:

• first thanking God


• clearing your own plate


• clearing anything else on the table


• putting leftovers away (we'll get to these next)


• sweeping the crumbs...my kids love this one


• massaging mom's feet and shoulders (I thought I'd give it a shot....it never happens.)

5.) There will be days where lovely leftovers are all that we are eating... Yes, we just ate this last night. No, you are not getting anything different (see rules # 2 and 3)

6.) Last of all - the kitchen will NOT always be clean. After all, that would be a sign of a wasted life:) And if the kitchen is still dirty the next morning, do not even dare to comment about it. Just smile, and silently proceed.

While it is quite common for other family members to 'forget' (unintentionally, of course) these minor rules and regulations of a mamma italiana's kitchen, we must hold strong to our expectations. After all, this is our domain. The kitchen may very well be the only place we can rule without protests and strikes and whatever other rebellions may arise in an Italian government....I mean, household.

And face it, I'd rather spend time with my kids than clean a kitchen all night while I miss out on some of the greatest memories of our family.

And that sums up ALL of the rules pretty darn clearly.